Susanaphone

Over the summer, I watched an musical with Judy Holliday called "Bells are Ringing". In the movie, Judy Holliday's character works at a telephone answering service called Susanaphone. And I admit there are times that I want to answer the phone by saying "Susanaphone". There is also this song I love by a British group with a line "I tried to call on your answerphone" which again makes me want to use Susanaphone. Anyway if you have a chance to see "Bells are Ringing" I highly recommend it. Even though Dean Martin is in it, Judy Holliday is so cute. And my mom told me that my grandma Diane really liked that movie so that of course made me much more receptive to it.

"Boyce Hubert, minister. Although I've lost my faith. 'Course, I did find a pretty great parking space on my way in. But the Lord works in such mysterious ways, who the hell knows?" - Boyce Hubert

Bonus Quote: "I'm not sure if there's a God, or a heaven, but one thing I can tell you, your daddy's going to Hell." - Boyce Hubert (to Hank about Cotton Hill).

A Slice of Fried Gold

Daylight savings time, I curse you! For twenty+ years, I never had to deal with the bi-annual changing of every clock in your possession. But now that I am living in Iowa, I do have to change my clocks. The first year was not so bad I was totally on top of changing my clocks. But this year, I totally forgot. And it wasn't until I consulted the clock on my laptop and then the clock on the wall (at about 11am, after I had already been up for about 4 hours) that I remembered it was time for the clock switching. The worse part is that Indiana has finally fell under the spell of daylight savings times, which means I have no idea what the time difference is between me in Iowa and everyone else I might want to call. That is the total disadvantage of being a moron (about daylight saving time which I all I will admit to being a moron about). In other news, this blog has reached a (semi)-milestone, this post is the 60th post of the blog. So thank you all for willingly reading my semi-coherent rantings about everything under the sun. And for enjoying my King of the Hill quotes that end the posts. There is something totally gratifying in knowing people will make a little time in their day to see how you are doing (or thinking).

CLERK: Okay, the tag says they need food and water and dirt and sun and love.
BOBBY: Can I substitute extra love for sun? I kind of have to hide these in my bedroom closet.
CLERK: No way, man. That'd be going against the tag. Unless... okay, I know someone who can help you, but the problem is that he's at another store, and you're like, at this store.
BOBBY: I have a bike.
CLERK: Oh, that changes everything.

Bonus Quote:
"...So I finally got up the nerve to ask Nancy for a raise in my allowance. It did not go well."- Dale Gribble

(In case you were wondering, the title came from the strange but extremely funny movie "Shaun of the Dead")

Check your barn doors

So I got the famous Halloween package from my mom today. Let me tell you, it was the best package that I have ever gotten. She sent all sorts of gummy goodies, lotion, ponytail holders and headband (truly a women after my own heart, I can never have too many hair things) and some really cute socks (which I one thing I love about my mom, I can always count on getting cute socks from her around the holidays). Also in the package is our family's fall staple, candy corn mixed with dried roasted peanut (the perfect mix of salty and sweet). But the highlight of the whole package, my own DVD copy of "Prairie Home Companion" movie (which is the origin of the title). It was just as lovely as I remembered when I saw it over the summer with my mom. It was still funny and bittersweet at the same time. And the music was so wonderful and fab. So now, I don't need to wait a week to get my Garrison Fix.

"Did you mean for the words to come out like that, or did they just come out randomly?"- Hank Hill

Bonus Quotes:
"I didn't think that I was possible to feel both ignored and violated."- Hank Hill

"I am your worst nightmare. I have a three line phone and nothing but time on my hands" - Dale Gribble

Inside the Mind of a Bibliophile

So, I will be flying from the Midwest to Germany over Thanksgiving vacation. And the first thing that I think about in terms of packing is not what clothes am I going to pack? No, it's what books should I take? How much time would I have to read while I'm there. Should I pack thick books or several thin books? How bad is my addiction? Really bad. I have a book in my bookbag for readding on the bus and one in my purse. I'm reading this memoir about another bibliophile and I am able to give a name to a common practice : doublebooking. This means reading several books at the same time. Currently I am quadruplebooking. "The Life of Pi" is my purse-book, my bus book is "A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich", I have a book to read while I am brushing my teeth (in the bathroom) which is "So Many Books, So Little Time" and then a "pop" novel to read for about 15mins before bed (to relax my mind). The key when you are double or triplebooking, is to make sure that the books are different enough to not run together (thus I advise against doublebooking with "David Copperfield" and "Great Expectations"). But doublebooking might be why I am giving myself plenty of time to finish my "Reading Around the World" project.

DALE: Yeah, man, I tell you what, man, dang ol' detector, man, government take away freedom of smoke, talkin' 'bout yo, man.
HANK: Yeah, man, I tell you what, man, dang ol' boy ain't right, man, talkin' 'bout kick your ass, man.
BOOMHAUER: For God's sake, Hank, act like an adult. And keep it down, guys, will you? I am trying to get through an article on vintage Camaros, and I've been on the same dang page for twenty minutes.
BILL: Dang ol' pretty pretty pizza, man, I tell you what.

Bonus Quote:
"B-A- Bay, B-E Be, B-I- Bicky Bi B-O Bo, Bicky Bi Bo!"- Dale Gribble

Xanax Salad Sprinkles

Every Sunday, when 1pm rolls around, I listen to prairie Home Companion. And sadly, it is becoming the highlight of the week. For almost two hours straight, I listen to Garrison Keillor and company while I do some reading or wash dishes. And giggle... a lot. I don't think words can really express how much I love Prairie Home Companion. There is something that is so appealing to me about the homespun silliness (and charm) of the show. From the episode of Guy Noir to the fake commercials (like the one from this week advertising Xanax Salad Sprinkles as a pick-me-up for these dark fall days) to the music (sometimes the music parodies as well), there is always something that makes me feel better. Paul Simon turned 65 this week, so they had a music parody of "Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme" about going into a retirement home that was so funny I couldn't stop laughing (it included a line about buying a flannel shirt (instead of cambric) in plaid because it hides the dirt). But I think that why I always feel better after listening to Prairie Home Companion is that it reminds me of my mom and being home on the farm. So after a stressful week of school, for two hours a week, I just get to think about home and nothing else. And that is magic of Garrison Keillor.


HANK: Bobby, how would you like to help me out around the shop for a few days? I can't pay you, but you can have all the snacks you want. We've got fruit pies, pretzels, all kinds of Newtons...
BOBBY: You had me at "fruit pies."

Bonus Quote:
"Uncle Hank, you're in denial"- Luanna Platter

Breaking my heart

So both "my" college teams lost today. Purdue lost to Wisconsin and Iowa lost to Michigan. And to make matters worse, Notre Dame came behind to beat UCLA. The only brightspot for the whole college football Saturday was the fact that Penn State won. So hopefully fans will leave Joe Pa alone. Seriously though, you do not even think about firing Joe Pa, you let him retire. I think it should be a rule, once you have coached at one college for more than forty years, your job should be secure until you either retire or die. I had a pretty rough Thursday as well thanks to an almost impossible test in Cell Bio. When I started I was really worried because no one else looking like they were freaking out, but slowly lots of people started asking questions to the TAs so I took that as a sign that everyone was equally confused as I was. And then the next day in class the (new) lecturer said "I heard you guys had a rough night last night with the exam", understatement of the century to say the least. But that leads me to the conclusion that everyone did about as bad as I assume that I did. C'est la vie...

BOBBY: Do you really think the Cowboys would move to Arlen?
HANK: I sure do, son. Just imagine what it'll be like. We'll go get autographs, and Troy Aikman will toss the ball around with you. I wish I had Dandy Don Meredith or Roger Staubach throwing me passes when I was your age. Even Craig Morton would have been okay. I love you, Bobby.
BOBBY: What?!
HANK: Uh... nothing. Hey, look, a bird!

And just because I can't resist this quote (and the likelihood that I will every write an appropriate posting is probably zero)
DALE: Hank, a hunting trip's not just about getting drunk or shooting deer. It's about getting out in the woods, away from the government, where your paper money is useless unless you run out of leaves. Where a man can let down his guard and share his biggest fear.
HANK: Dale, you with your guard down is my biggest fear.

An Open Apology To Gaston Leroux

Sorry Gaston, but I have to nix you from of my reading list. I am almost eighty pages into "Phantom of the Opera" and I just can't get into it. I think that I am just not a gothic girl. I love Northanger Abbey which just makes fun of gothic novels. But I tried, I really tried. Instead I am going to read "One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich" by Alexander Solzhenitsyn for Russia. And Gaston, you have been replaced on the list. For France, I am going to read "Wind, Sand, & Stars" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery (who wrote "The Little Prince"). This book it about his solo flights during and before World War II. (He disappeared during a flight). And I have been wanting to read this book for a while now.
In other interesting news, I was cutting through the basement of the hospital were the photos of all the former med students are posted and a picture caught my eye. It was for Dr. Katz. That's right, Dr. Katz exists. He probably does not have a completely idiot son named Ben (who has a little stuffed bull) but I can hope!

"It's hot and the tray is heavy. My boss calls me Tommy and watches TV in a hot dog suit and I think he might be a moron."-Bobby Hill

Weekend in review

This weekend, I went back to the farm for the first time in more than a month to attend a wedding on a friend from college. This is the first wedding that I have attending in nearly five years that did not require me getting up early to either get ready to be in the wedding or to help with preparations for the wedding. It was a nice but bizarre feeling. Let it be noted that I did attend the rehearsal dinner and helped the bride get dressed (I was the assistant to the maid of honor, my sister). This weekend also featured helping Lucy get dressed in the car, while driving, on the way to the church because she was positive that she would be the last person there, so she had to at least arrived dressed. The wedding was beautiful and Courtney (the bride) looking radiant. Also there were big football happenings this weekend. Purdue beat Northwestern (giving them a 5-2 record) and more shockingly, Indiana beat Iowa. Leading to complete distress by members of the Iowa faithful. Most disappointing, there was a huge brawl during the third quarter of the Miami game this weekend (which featured hitting people with helmets and cleat-stomping). Gee, I wonder if there is too much aggression in sports (or men in general)? Speaking of excess aggression, this weekend was the annual rite of passage known as clamping the calves. Dad's friend Brad (and his 7-year old son Spencer) were there to help us. Brad suggested just using rubber bands, but I will let Lucy provide her objections to that suggestions. And the last project that Lucy and I worked on (before I return to the daily grind at school) was honey separation. We only did about 1/4 of the hives before I had to leave. All I know is that I don't know what the hell Dad is planning on doing with all that honey (and extra wax!). I think Lucy and I need to make plans to make several batches of soap over Christmas. Whooo!


"Minh, it's finally happening! Bobby Hillbilly is marrying hillbilly cousin! You owe me five dollars!" - Kahn Souphanousinphone
Bonus quote:
HANK: You're going to have to marry Luanne.
BOBBY: But I'm only twelve years old!
HANK: Well, just think, you can be married for eighty years.
BOBBY: Dad, you can't make me marry Luanne!
HANK: Yes I can, Bobby -- you're only twelve years old.

Kindred Spirits

Last week, my friend Sarah came to visit me and we had lunch and went to the bookstore together. We had a blast walking around looking at books and talking. And I was reminded why we were such good friends. We both have never read "Catcher in the Rye" for the same reason, specifically most people who read that book do it because they think other people will think they are both cool and rebellious. (And of course I shared Rachel's excellent quote "Anyone who reads that book and uses it as a type of philosophy is an idiot). And she and I decided that we don't usually enjoy books that are considered "must-read" or some of the books in the "literature canon". I really don't like to be told to read a novel for reasons x ,y , z . I like to decided why I should read the book and what is important. But that is just me. I also have a problem with people using literature as a way to exclude people. I read "The Jane Austen Book Club" which everyone was raving about, and I hated it. Maybe I didn't get it but I just hated it for the specific reason it that the women seemed to unnecessarily bitchy. It is four women (who have read Austen) who begin a bookclub and invite a man (who has never read any Austen) and then make fun of him throughout the book and completely ignore the fact that he is voluntarily reading Austen (which is not common for men in general fictional or not). Maybe I'm idealistic, but literature to me can act as an equalizer.

"My Joseph better not be sterile -- I need my seed to live on. Certain plans of mine require additional Gribbles." -Dale Gribble

Bonus Quote:
"Have you forgotten who you are? You are Hank freakin' Hill! The man who won the Texas Propane Association's Blue Flame of Valor award! The man who drove raccoon after raccoon out of our attic, armed only with a broom-handle and a pillowcase! And the man whose sperm struggled through that tiny urethra God cursed you with to create our wonderful son!" -Peggy Hill

A Bold New Plan

One of my goals in life is to visit every country in the world (or at least every continent). This may never happen, so I have decided to embark on a related and possibly easier plan. I am going to read a book from every country in the world. So what do I hope to get out of this experience? I do want to broaden my literature horizon, I usually like to read British authors or historical novels. I hope by reading more authors, I can appreciate new perspectives. I plan on posting updates of my progress on this blog. So stay tuned for more. . .

"Bobby, why don't you go look in the Adventure section? Anything about a boy with gumption should be fine." -Hank Hill (advising Bobby at the book store)

Bonus quote:
"(reading): "The elf-lord Flyfandel knelt upon the bed of dandelions. 'Young wanderer,' quoth he, 'I have woven you a magic breastplate'"-- Ugh! Bobby, television!" - Hank Hill

Scream Real Loud

Time to break out the giant underpants because I finally was able to watch an episode of PeeWee's Playhouse on Cartoon Network. The show started airing in July, but I was never able to catch it until last night. I needed a study break and suddenly there was PeeWee. I haven't watched an episode of PeeWee's playhouse and I forgot how fantastic the show was. I love the use of claymation for the "special effects" like Pee-Wee in space. I think it made it much more interesting that CGI graphics. And I can't ignore the use a claymation for Penny and the Dinosaurs. I love the Penny cartoons. I still thought the show was hilarious, even as an adult. I think that is a mark of a good kid's show, that adult can watch it and enjoy it (which I don't think is true with some kid's shows today, I want to deafen myself every time I see a little bit of Dora the Explorer.) And PeeWee's Playhouse had a really good cast, I mean Phil Hartman, Laurence Fishburne, and S. Epatha Merkerson were all on that show. I highly recommend watching PeeWee's playhouse or PeeWee's Big Adventure.

"They're not jokes, Bill, they're painful lessons. I thank my father every day for all the tricks he played on me. He taught me the most wonderful lesson a child can learn: Never trust nobody. That's how I know Bob Dole's faking that dead arm." - Dale Gribble

Bonus Quotes:
JOSEPH: Dad, can me and Bobby bring life preservers?
DALE: If you want to be sissies.
JOSEPH (to Bobby): He said yes!

BILL: Who wants a dollar? Say me.
BOBBY: Me!!

Nobel Prize

Today, the Nobel committee announced the winner of the Nobel Prize in medicine: Andy Fire and Craig Mello. They did work on RNA interference in C. elegans. My Cell Bio. Professor mention these two researchers in class and that she thought that they would win the Nobel prize at one point. In our discussion class we talked about them winning the prize as well (which is when one of classmates said that Fire and Mello sounds like some 70s folk group). The discussion leader said that he was surprised the Fire and Mello won this year because they published their findings in 1998 and that is a short time for Nobel recognition. We talked about the people who have won multiple times (Marie Curie specifically) and then he couldn't remember the name of the other multiple winner : Linus Pauling (Linus Pauling was heavily involved in determining the structure of DNA). On of the other students thought he was thinking about Rosalind Franklin and then the student remarked that someone stole the work of her desk as we were leaving. And of course I said, "I hate Watson, he is such a jerk." To which the professor said that Watson once spoke at Iowa, and he thought he was a jerk as well. But it got me thinking about the Nobel. It would be really cool to personally know someone who won, but at the same time I think that the Nobel committee might be full of crap. Only 11 women have won the Nobel despite nominal work (i.e. Lise Mietner). And it has been awarded for "debatable" advancements (like when it was given to Antonio Egas Moniz for developing the lobotomy). But on the upside there is an Ig Nobel awarded by the Annals of Improbable Research for work that cannot or should not be reproduced. Maybe that's what he was going for with the lobotomy.

"It's upset the balance in the alley. There used to be one cool married guy and one cool single guy. Now it's just me and three losers."- Dale Gribble