What I've learned from Film Noir

I have seen 12 film noir movies over the past two weekends so I thought that I make a list of what I've learned from those movies (and well as the many many other film noir movies I've seen in the past):

• If you have to see a psychologist or psychoanalyst because you may have murdered someone, makes sure the person is of the opposite sex.  He or she will be more invested in your recovery because there is a 80% chance she/he will fall in love with you and help you clear your name. 
• Do not let yourself get locked in a house (yours or someone else) or a building. More than likely the person who is holding you hostage will be in the process of convincing anyone that could help you that you are crazy.  
• Do not install frosted glass in your house.  In the case of the above situtaion, it makes it that much more difficult to get someone's attention.  Plus your hostage takes could sneak up on you (I'm looking at you Ida Lupino in Beware My Lovely).  
• If you husband is trying to run you down on the street, make sure that someone else is dressed very similarly (and hopefully in cahoots with your murdering husband). 
• Do not work in a bank.  At some point someone is going to either force you to rob the bank or rob the bank and make you the fall guy. 
• If you are a twin accused of murder and your psychologist is doing a word association exercise with you, it does not bode well for your twin if you answer to "mirror" is "death".  And don't dress alike, especially if you are not under 5.  It's just creepy.  
• If you are dealing with twins and one might be evil, only talk to the twins in person not on the phone. 
• Cats can either help you or draw unwanted attention to you.  It's really a toss up.  But trust dogs, they are always in the right.  
• If you have escaped from prison with a group of men and you've decided that you are going after a stash of money, things are not going to end well for almost your entire group.  Best to escape with only one other person (and don't get attached then either).  
• Do not marry, work for, or live with a person that is very attached to the parent of the opposite sex.  And for goodness sake, don't stay in his or her motel!
• It is probably a good idea not to get in a car that you are not driving. 
• Don't be friends with a gossip columnist.  
• Sometimes the police a helpful and other times the police are completely useless.  So sort of like cats.  The FBI is usually helpful (like dogs). 
• If you are involved with a married man, he is never going to leave his wife.  If he has a first wife, more than likely he did not divorce her, he killed her.  
• And most importantly, do not be a push-over.  Be proactive, be aggressive, and be willing to trick your adversary in any way that you gives you an advantage, gives you extra time, or shows that you are willing to fight back.