Wednesday, August 22, 2007
One more thing
BOBBY: Please, Dad, can we please pay paintball?
HANK: Now, hold on a minute -- let's see, they give you kids guns and let you shoot at each other? Yeah, okay.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Only a few days away
BOBBY: Why does my potato have skin on it? I hate skin!
PEGGY: I will not sit here and listen to you criticize my work! What, do you think the potatoes just fly into the bowl and mash themselves?
LUANNE: I know y'all don't mean none of those harsh words. It's just the nicotine withdrawal.
HANK: Why is she still talking?
Thursday, August 16, 2007
All I need is a needle and thread
This is one of three quilts I want to finish before November (and this is one of two baby quilts). For all you quilters out there, any quilting pattern suggestions?HANK: Who is calling me a liar, you or the machine? 'Cause I need to know whose ass to kick.
CLERK: I'm not calling you a liar, sir.
HANK: Fine. Where's the ass on this thing?
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Green and black
"It's a Shirley Hack, that's like getting a Shemp." - Cotton Hill
Monday, August 13, 2007
And this is what is passes for posts
You're Watership Down!
by Richard Adams
Though many think of you as a bit young, even childish, you're
actually incredibly deep and complex. You show people the need to rethink their
assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they
build their houses. You might be one of the greatest people of all time. You'd
be recognized as such if you weren't always talking about talking rabbits.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
You're NPR Science Friday!
While you would put most people to sleep, you still are better
known than most of your counterparts. You can afford to hire help, and you
have even met publicly known figures. Very little of this goes to your head,
though, and you try to pride yourself on keeping a solid, practical
perspective. While most people look forward to Fridays, these are the days
you do most of your work.
Take the Podcast Quiz
at The Mep Report Podcast.
I promise that tomorrow there will be a real post with pictures and everything!
"Yep. Bobby's gonna be wearing sweat pants for the right reasons." - Hank
Monday, August 06, 2007
The Buck Witch Project
"Bobby red alert! Run to Dale's house and lock the door!"-Hank
Friday, August 03, 2007
A year older
HANK: Excuse me, are you with the cult?
CULT MEMBER: We're not a cult. We're an organization that promotes love, and --
HANK: Yeah, this is it.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Bee Balm
"But I told you where the leg was."-Cotton Hill
Sunday, July 29, 2007
A paper contains facts
"You know I don't sign any document issued by a government institution." - Dale (who else?)
Saturday, July 28, 2007
It's time to embrace the contraction
"Luanne, you have a weakness for a certain type of man. You are drawn magnetically back to the trailer, back to the sticky ooze you escaped from." -Peggy
Friday, July 20, 2007
Don't be a giant snapping turtle
"Aliens impregnated mom, that's a given."-Joseph Gribble
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Accepted
COACH SAUERS: Eat mud! I said eat it! Eat it!
BOBBY: Coach, I think I swallowed too much mud.
COACH SAUERS: Take a salt tablet.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
On a roll
" I use my survival training every day. Being alone in the woods prepared me for being alone everywhere else." - Bill
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
At last
Hank: Bobby, the Blue Flame of Valour Award is the highest honor that the Texas Propane Association can bestow on a living member in peacetime. Show some respect.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Make-up
BOBBY: Why do we need toilet seat covers?
PEGGY: One word: Tennessee.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Those crazy kids
Husband: Did you happen to drop the ham in some salt on the way home?
Doctor: Is that pie I smell?
Frank Jr. : No, that's the smell of my daddy dying.
Eradicator!!!!
She said it was still a little early to say, but I might not be stupid.
"Bobby, I know we've never talked about this, but someday I'm going to die. And when that happens, then you can go to cooking school." - Hank
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Collide
CONNIE: You know, Bobby, there are some days of the month I don't like to ride a bike either.
BOBBY: You mean because you got your period?
CONNIE: I chose not to use that word.
BOBBY: Why? It's a natural, beautiful thing.
CONNIE: You don't understand. You're not there yet.
BOBBY: You better check the map, honey, because I am living in downtown there!
Last day
"Let's see... I told you about the sperm-count-lowering soft drinks... I told you about Supercuts cataloging DNA... I'm running dry here, people... oh! Is there any concrete evidence that Hawaii actually exists? No, I covered that." -Dale
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
plain Jane walls
SHERIFF MUMFORD: Oh, who in the hell called in the Texas Rangers?
RANGER PAYTON: A Mrs. Peggy Hill, restauranteur.
PEGGY: I love your show! I love that Walker!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Done!
"I just think if you don't read the papers and the only TV you watch is the MTV, you shouldn't be allowed to vote." -Hank Hill