Friday, February 23, 2007
Towards the cliff of insantity
"And I ask you, Lord, to take this man's hiccups to heal him!" - TV Evangelist
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Intrigue in the lab
"Do it, you monkey boy! I'm the boss of you!" - Jimmy
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
In case I missed chopping away at a glacier
"Explode Bobby! Stick of dynamite!" - Hank Hill
Just because I'm going for a record number of posts in one day
| You Are a Life Blogger! |
Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible. |
DIDI: Oh, he will, Bobby. Until the baby crosses him.
Just In Case You Didn't Know
| What Catherine Means |
C is for Calm A is for Abstract T is for Tame H is for Hip E is for Extraordinary R is for Romantic I is for Influential N is for Natural E is for Energetic |
Monday, February 19, 2007
A New Theory
For all of you that has tried to learn to drive a stick shift:
"The left brake's not working!"-Dale Gribble
Money is so wasted on the wealthy
"All I see is a crying drunk and a mean sissy."- Hank Hill
Sunday, February 18, 2007
A Small Musical Milestone
And on a completely unrelated note, I was adjusting a link to Robert Osborne on a previous post and so I looked up Turner Classic Movies and then read about Sydney Pollack who used to host "The Essentials" on Saturday night (He also directed "Out of Africa" and "Tootsie" among others). Turns out he was born in Lafayette, Indiana. How cool is that?
"Tell you what, if you play some catch with your old man, I'll buy you that album you want by those guys I hate." - Hank Hill
"All this time I thought I was an "extra extra large," but that's why my clothes never fit right. Turns out I'm a "medium!"- Bobby Hill
Friday, February 16, 2007
Alien encounters
"This record is all Bill's got. Should we rock-paper-scissors to see who keeps him from killing himself in the bathroom?" -Dale Gribble
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy Valentine's Day!
Have a nice day everyone! This is the 100th post of this blog! Who knew I had so much to write about?Tuesday, February 13, 2007
So it's not just a clever name
"Now all we need are three more of those, four wheels, an engine, some kind of frame and a cassette radio, and we've got our death car!" -Bobby Hill
Monday, February 12, 2007
my mom is cooler than yours!
AGENT: There's a catalog shoot tomorrow for Caulfield's of Texas. They're launching a new line of clothing called "Gravitas."
BOBBY: I want that account.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
This conversation serves no purpose
"I have personally seen Tommy and Rollo kill a gopher with a pigeon."-Dale Gribble
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Wants to have a snow day that will turn its parents into kids
"Okay, I have been through this before in Montana. Nobody lick any flagpoles!"- Peggy Hill
"If you want, I can show you how to make a bomb out of a roll of toilet paper and a stick of dynamite."- Dale Gribble
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Being a weirdo is completely optional
"We could be your backup band. "The Dale Gribble Bluegrass Experience." -Dale Gribble
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Pay attention because I don't want to have to fail you
OK, to let you all know that Frontline doesn't air only depressing stories, they aired a segment about "Play Pumps" which is a grassroots movement that installs little merry-go-rounds that can pump water while kids are playing on it. The guy who developed it was working in advertising in South Africa thought that women should not be spending to much time pumping water so he worked with an engineer to develop this merry-go-round/ water pump. The water gets stored in a little water tower and then the water runs to a tap. And the water tower has print public service announcements about HIV/AIDS awareness (which targets children specifically as they are the ones that are using the Play Pumps). Both the US government and rapper Jay-Z have raised/promised money to install these Play Pumps all over Africa.
"Wake up, Hank! These people kill 400,000 of their own satisfied customers every year!"-Dale Gribble
Monday, January 29, 2007
Sometimes we all get a little apathetic
"Hank, you are not Joseph's father. Dale is Joseph's father. Well, actually, John Redcorn is Joseph's father, but Dale doesn't know that. The point is, you are only his godfather. You are not supposed to take over for Dale until he is gunned down by federal agents. That is the agreement." -Peggy Hill
Bonus Quotes:
JOSEPH: You're telling me I'm from outer space? Like E.T.?
DALE: Actually, no. He was a purebred alien, and had a heart of gold. You're only half-alien, and at times can be a tad self-absorbed.
HANK: I guess you had your own idiot man-child to deal with.
BOBBY: That Joseph. He's really... really like his dad.
HANK: Yep. Those Gribbles are two nuts on the same sundae.
(Who wants ice cream now? Me!!)
Oh for the love of Harold Lloyd!
Finally after months of waiting, a new King of the Hill episode was aired on FOX. It was great, thank goodness that show is back on! And right now I am enjoy some silent shorts starring Harold Lloyd on TCM. If you haven't seen any Harold Lloyd movies, you really should. Some of the best physical comedy you will ever see was done by Harold Lloyd. His films are enjoying a bit of revival as of late due to TCM showcasing them on the Silent Sundays.
"If only I could get over these pre-coup jitters."- Dale Gribble
Saturday, January 27, 2007
No, not the queen of diamonds!!
"Let's not wait these two minutes talking about things that will never be." -Connie Souphanousinphone
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Good to know
| Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC |
"Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back" Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last! |
Monday, January 22, 2007
And love, true love
HANK: I'm only going to read this once. "Hi, my name is Ladybird. I like long walks, my arthritis medication, and two cups of kibble a day. I'll try to outsmart you and get three cups, but I know you're too clever for that, Ms. Platter."
LUANNE: I don't know, Uncle Hank. She did write this letter and everything.
HANK: Trip's off.
Consider it done!
| You Belong in the UK |
Blimey! A little proper, a little saucy. You're so witty and charming... No one notices your curry breath |
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Hmmm....
| Your Birthdate: August 2 |
You may watch someone from afar before you finally decide to make your move. It takes a long time for you to develop an attraction to someone. Generally, you prefer to pick who you love. Anyone who tries to rush you is in for some heartache. Number of True Loves You'll Have: 3 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 4 You are most compatible with people born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, and 29th of the month. |
Friday, January 19, 2007
The Third Man (so much better than the third wheel)
Hank: "Everyone likes a hard worker"
Dale: "Of course they do! They do all the work for them!"
"Well, we would all like to make time for the roaches." - Dale Gribble
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Alas, pro football is almost over
DR. TATE: Mr. Hill, you were born with no muscle mass here, no cushioning. For years you've basically been sitting on your spine. You suffer from a disease called Diminished Gluteal Syndrome, or DGS.
HANK: I don't understand. What does that mean?
DR. TATE: Mr. Hill, you have no ass.
Bonus Quote:
HANK: You want me to wear a fake heiny?
DR. TATE: Mr. Hill, are your shoes fake feet?
and of course
"My orthodic !!" - Hank Hill
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Highlight of this week
"You're damn right it wasn't! You think you're the only one who loved that truck? I spent the best years of my life in that truck."- Bobby Hill
Bonus Quotes:
"I can't believe it, I'm in your seat" -Bobby Hill
"I'm driving the hell out of this truck."-Bobby Hill
Monday, January 15, 2007
Put on your flannel pajamas and start your interpretive dance
And the weather is finally closer to the typical winter weather. The low for Tuesday night is 1. So time to break out my flannel pajamas (hooray!)Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day as well. When I was in high school, instead of classes we would have an assembly and then have breakout discussion sessions (which were always interesting). The best part was that one of the college counselors would perform an interpretive dance for the occasion. I'm not sure if that was the best way to honor MLK but her heart was in the right place I guess. Perhaps I will prepare a dance for next Jan. 15th.
"Bethany, it does not matter if your avocaydoes are hard. Life is hard. You cannot make authentic guaycamowl out of lima beans and Ritz crackers. (hangs up) Oh, these people! Gringos" - Peggy Hill
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Back-up singers and remakes
On a completely unrelated note, a remake of the movie "The Hitcher" is being released this weekend. What I think is totally stupid, is that there is an ad for a sneak peek of the movie. Isn't the seeing the original movie a sneak peek? I can't believe how many remakes are getting made in the past very years. Thankfully most of the remakes are horror movies, hopefully I will never see a remake of "Citizen Kane" with Tom Cruise (or know of it's existence, if it does exist I can guarantee I will not see it).
"Damn zero-tolerance. Using a saw as a weapon makes about as much sense as using a gun to cut a two-by-four. That's how my dad built my tree house. How he cleaned it, too."- Hank Hill
Monday, January 08, 2007
There is no gel that can thwart me (as yet)
"What kind of a doctor are you anyway? Will you do something? What are all these machines for -- what about that laser? Use that laser on my husband right now!" - Peggy Hill
Bonus Quote:
" I'm not gonna be blind forever, you know. And the second I see some ass, I'm kicking it. " - Hank Hill
Saturday, January 06, 2007
hello gorgeous

Finally, pictures! (I got a digital camera for Christmas from my sisters)
Here is Ellis and Bridget

And Silas preparing for a nice day trip (with an empty daypack)

Ellis and his faux-hawk
LUANNE: You know, they make ice cream with cookie dough already in it.
HANK: Damn, sister, get me my keys!
Bonus quotes:
"I did what you couldn't do. Now, I'm not saying you're not good at what you do, I'm just saying I'm better. I went in there and fixed her, like fixing a carburetor. And you know what? It was fun. Like fixing a carburetor." - Hank Hill
"Your heart is telling you? Who's the boss, you or your heart? You are! Your heart is your employee! So get your heart off its butt and back to work!"- Hank Hill
Friday, January 05, 2007
Growth and catastrophe
"I need hard copies! I could lose everything, Hank. Seven-letter Boggle words, my Peggy Hill self-abridged Thesaurus, musings, ponderings on their way to being musings -- "rap music, wrapping paper?" I know I can crack that nut."- Peggy Hill
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
A more lyrical post
Airplanes
Take you away again
Are you flying
Above where we live
Then I look up a glare in my eyes
Are you having regrets about last night
I'm not but I like rivers that rush in
So then I dove in
Is there trouble ahead
For you the acrobat
I won't push you unless you have a net
You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly then boy
Balloons
Look good from on the ground
I fear with pins and needles around
We may fall then stumble
Upon a carousel
It could take us anywhere
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly boy
Monday, December 25, 2006
Merry Christmas all
BOBBY: Better honk, Dad. It won't feel like Christmas Day if we miss the Little Drummer Boy.
HANK: I'm doing the best I can, and -- wait a minute, you're being sarcastic. You have no interest at all in seeing that little boy play his heart out, do you?
BOBBY: Nope. (I would like to note that my mother dislikes that song.)
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Back from a long absence
"I'm skeptical that you could yet intrigued that you may"- Dale Gribble
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Sometimes I say "Okay" instead of "Fine"
"You see, Bobby, your daddy's gene'ation's givin' away everything we fought for! Pannyma Canal. Mexican legs. You people would give back Gandhi's diapers if you had 'em!" - Cotton Hill
Bonus Quote:
"But I told you where the leg was!"- Cotton Hill
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Quality in a square
"With all respect and honor, I would not be saddened if both you and your father went to hell." - Junichro
Bonus quote
" I cannot leave work in middle of the day. I am assistant manager. One of only thirty." - Junichro
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
What happens when John Adams joins the CIA?
HANK: I need a gnome. Not just any gnome, a Winklebottom.
SALES MANAGER: A Winklebottom? Why not just ask me to move a rainbow?
HANK: I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or just weird.
Bonus Quote:
PEGGY: Excuse me, do you know of a plant that can withstand over-watering, inadequate fertilization, and perhaps some over-zealous pruning?
TEENAGE CLERK: Yeah, they're called weeds.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Spending some quality time with JT
"My Sloppy Joe is all Sloppy and no Joe."- Bobby Hill
Don't Make Me Live in a House of Wee
"Wait a minute. I don't recall a change in plans being in the original plan."- Dale Gribble
Bonus Quote:
"Plan 51-Tango! In the event of a hostile takeover of the gun club, resulting in a Dale-threatening situation, I flee to Costa Rica. Why do we even have the drills if you're not gonna pay attention?" - Dale Gribble
Sunday, November 26, 2006
We'll Start on this crappola tomorrow
"Dangit, Bobby, people will see that oil stain and think I'm a drunk."- Hank Hill
Bonus Quote:
"Well, I'm happy for me, but I am sad for you. But don't worry, honey, I will keep this between you, me, Bobby, and the family therapist we will undoubtedly need to see."- Peggy Hill
Monday, November 20, 2006
An American in Heidelberg.
"Between the drugging and the lying, someone in this family has got to show a little got-dang integrity."- Hank Hill
Monday, November 13, 2006
Fun Fact
"It's a "Fun Run," Dad. I ran until it stopped being fun. Happened quick."- Bobby Hill
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Expect some delays
"Your dad's days of hating me are coming to a close. Who can hate a kid who can Charleston?" -Bobby Hill
And just because I love this quote, I can't resist:
"I'm glad I'm not the lama. The Chane Train stops for the ladies." - Chane Wasonasong
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Killer Shrews, Killer Shrews, K-I-double L- E-R Shrews
"Marriage is about trust, and she betrayed him. It was like a knife in his heart when she stuck that fork in his back." -Peggy Hill
Bonus Quotes:
"Leanne's first husband is working on an offshore oil rig in the gulf, and he swears he's coming ashore until I fax him her death certificate. " - Hank Hill
"Bobby, red alert! Get over to Dale's house and lock the door." - Hank Hill
Friday, November 03, 2006
Please allow me a few minutes on my soapbox.
Reading Around the World update: I have about 25 more pages for Russia, I should have my first review for this project by Monday!
"I've seen some things that I have never seen before. Like the sunrise, morning dew, and snails on the sidewalk. I never want to see those things again." - Bobby Hill
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Hugh Laurie= Brit Genuis
"There will be British humor tonight. It will feature very elborate puns that will take days to figure out with most likely very little pay off. "
"Six a.m. and already the boy ain't right."- Hank Hill
It's The Gator- Mater
"Bill!! Bill, you have to be the stupidest man on the planet to think this is a good idea! Have you seen what you're wearing?! That outfit makes you look like a sequined train wreck! Look at you!! You're part of a twelve-headed Jackass! This chorus is the feces that is produced when shame eats too much stupidity! You people make me envy the deaf and the blind!" - Dale Gribble
Bonus Quote: "Normally I'd tell you to go to my blog, but even that's being censored by Hank." - Dale Gribble
Monday, October 30, 2006
Susanaphone
"Boyce Hubert, minister. Although I've lost my faith. 'Course, I did find a pretty great parking space on my way in. But the Lord works in such mysterious ways, who the hell knows?" - Boyce Hubert
Bonus Quote: "I'm not sure if there's a God, or a heaven, but one thing I can tell you, your daddy's going to Hell." - Boyce Hubert (to Hank about Cotton Hill).
Sunday, October 29, 2006
A Slice of Fried Gold
CLERK: Okay, the tag says they need food and water and dirt and sun and love.
BOBBY: Can I substitute extra love for sun? I kind of have to hide these in my bedroom closet.
CLERK: No way, man. That'd be going against the tag. Unless... okay, I know someone who can help you, but the problem is that he's at another store, and you're like, at this store.
BOBBY: I have a bike.
CLERK: Oh, that changes everything.
Bonus Quote:
"...So I finally got up the nerve to ask Nancy for a raise in my allowance. It did not go well."- Dale Gribble
(In case you were wondering, the title came from the strange but extremely funny movie "Shaun of the Dead")
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Check your barn doors
So I got the famous Halloween package from my mom today. Let me tell you, it was the best package that I have ever gotten. She sent all sorts of gummy goodies, lotion, ponytail holders and headband (truly a women after my own heart, I can never have too many hair things) and some really cute socks (which I one thing I love about my mom, I can always count on getting cute socks from her around the holidays). Also in the package is our family's fall staple, candy corn mixed with dried roasted peanut (the perfect mix of salty and sweet). But the highlight of the whole package, my own DVD copy of "Prairie Home Companion" movie (which is the origin of the title). It was just as lovely as I remembered when I saw it over the summer with my mom. It was still funny and bittersweet at the same time. And the music was so wonderful and fab. So now, I don't need to wait a week to get my Garrison Fix.
"Did you mean for the words to come out like that, or did they just come out randomly?"- Hank Hill
Bonus Quotes:
"I didn't think that I was possible to feel both ignored and violated."- Hank Hill
"I am your worst nightmare. I have a three line phone and nothing but time on my hands" - Dale Gribble
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Inside the Mind of a Bibliophile
DALE: Yeah, man, I tell you what, man, dang ol' detector, man, government take away freedom of smoke, talkin' 'bout yo, man.
HANK: Yeah, man, I tell you what, man, dang ol' boy ain't right, man, talkin' 'bout kick your ass, man.
BOOMHAUER: For God's sake, Hank, act like an adult. And keep it down, guys, will you? I am trying to get through an article on vintage Camaros, and I've been on the same dang page for twenty minutes.
BILL: Dang ol' pretty pretty pizza, man, I tell you what.
Bonus Quote:
"B-A- Bay, B-E Be, B-I- Bicky Bi B-O Bo, Bicky Bi Bo!"- Dale Gribble
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Xanax Salad Sprinkles
HANK: Bobby, how would you like to help me out around the shop for a few days? I can't pay you, but you can have all the snacks you want. We've got fruit pies, pretzels, all kinds of Newtons...
BOBBY: You had me at "fruit pies."
Bonus Quote:
"Uncle Hank, you're in denial"- Luanna Platter
Breaking my heart
BOBBY: Do you really think the Cowboys would move to Arlen?
HANK: I sure do, son. Just imagine what it'll be like. We'll go get autographs, and Troy Aikman will toss the ball around with you. I wish I had Dandy Don Meredith or Roger Staubach throwing me passes when I was your age. Even Craig Morton would have been okay. I love you, Bobby.
BOBBY: What?!
HANK: Uh... nothing. Hey, look, a bird!
And just because I can't resist this quote (and the likelihood that I will every write an appropriate posting is probably zero)
DALE: Hank, a hunting trip's not just about getting drunk or shooting deer. It's about getting out in the woods, away from the government, where your paper money is useless unless you run out of leaves. Where a man can let down his guard and share his biggest fear.
HANK: Dale, you with your guard down is my biggest fear.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
An Open Apology To Gaston Leroux
In other interesting news, I was cutting through the basement of the hospital were the photos of all the former med students are posted and a picture caught my eye. It was for Dr. Katz. That's right, Dr. Katz exists. He probably does not have a completely idiot son named Ben (who has a little stuffed bull) but I can hope!
"It's hot and the tray is heavy. My boss calls me Tommy and watches TV in a hot dog suit and I think he might be a moron."-Bobby Hill
Monday, October 16, 2006
Weekend in review
"Minh, it's finally happening! Bobby Hillbilly is marrying hillbilly cousin! You owe me five dollars!" - Kahn Souphanousinphone
Bonus quote:
HANK: You're going to have to marry Luanne.
BOBBY: But I'm only twelve years old!
HANK: Well, just think, you can be married for eighty years.
BOBBY: Dad, you can't make me marry Luanne!
HANK: Yes I can, Bobby -- you're only twelve years old.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Kindred Spirits
"My Joseph better not be sterile -- I need my seed to live on. Certain plans of mine require additional Gribbles." -Dale Gribble
Bonus Quote:
"Have you forgotten who you are? You are Hank freakin' Hill! The man who won the Texas Propane Association's Blue Flame of Valor award! The man who drove raccoon after raccoon out of our attic, armed only with a broom-handle and a pillowcase! And the man whose sperm struggled through that tiny urethra God cursed you with to create our wonderful son!" -Peggy Hill
Monday, October 09, 2006
A Bold New Plan
"Bobby, why don't you go look in the Adventure section? Anything about a boy with gumption should be fine." -Hank Hill (advising Bobby at the book store)
Bonus quote:
"(reading): "The elf-lord Flyfandel knelt upon the bed of dandelions. 'Young wanderer,' quoth he, 'I have woven you a magic breastplate'"-- Ugh! Bobby, television!" - Hank Hill
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Scream Real Loud
"They're not jokes, Bill, they're painful lessons. I thank my father every day for all the tricks he played on me. He taught me the most wonderful lesson a child can learn: Never trust nobody. That's how I know Bob Dole's faking that dead arm." - Dale Gribble
Bonus Quotes:
JOSEPH: Dad, can me and Bobby bring life preservers?
DALE: If you want to be sissies.
JOSEPH (to Bobby): He said yes!
BILL: Who wants a dollar? Say me.
BOBBY: Me!!
Monday, October 02, 2006
Nobel Prize
"It's upset the balance in the alley. There used to be one cool married guy and one cool single guy. Now it's just me and three losers."- Dale Gribble